


Frayed

by Lise (thissugarcane)



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22179064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thissugarcane/pseuds/Lise
Summary: Theron was going to break. Lana could hear it in his voice. Damn it all, but she didn't have time for this right now.Set early in the five year period between Ziost and Zakuul, Theron/Outlander (mentioned). Spoilers for KOTFE.
Relationships: Lana Beniko & Theron Shan, Theron Shan/Other(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Frayed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Llwyden ferch Gyfrinach (Llwyden)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llwyden/gifts).



> Theron/ambiguous (sith) Outlander on purpose, hopefully doesn't contradict your personal player story! Thank you A for the beta, when you don't even go here. (Nothing from beyond KOTET, aka Nathema *g*.)

Theron was going to break. Lana could hear it in his voice. Damn it all, but she didn't have time for this right now.

"I'm surprised you asked," he said. His voice was choppy through the holo, they had it set to voice-only to help prevent the inevitable tracking from the Eternal throne, and yet, Lana could hear it in every strained syllable: Theron was going to break. Soon. "Send me the coordinates. I'll see what I can do."

She didn't have time for this; in two days, Lana was needed on Sullust. Lana was needed everywhere. Empress Acina may have turned a blind eye to a lone Sith carving out her own small intelligence network from the ashes of the empire -- the real Empire -- but she wouldn't stay hidden for long. Especially not without a Republic foothold, of which Theron was a lynchpin. Really, the only pin.

There it was. The rationale to meet, try to fix this, get him onside. Against all practicality, Lana was relieved. "Listen, I know things have been difficult..." she started to say, and then sighed. Not enough privacy, people could still be listening in. Nothing was a guarantee.

T7 was in the cockpit, flying dutifully; the droid was poor company, but reliable, quick in a fight, eager enough to please, and willing to follow Lana's instructions. He was the perfect agent. Theron's seams were beginning to show, during the last unsanctioned mission he'd nearly been shot...

"What is it?" he asked, sharp, and Lana heard an echo of something she hadn't seen since Rishi.

"Don't miss the rendezvous," she instructed, harsh. There was nothing she could say to keep Theron's threads from unravelling, not here, not now. Not with the galaxy maybe listening in.

"Yes, sir," Theron said, sardonically, and before Lana could reply, told her, "agent out."

Lana slumped against the narrow bench. Her shuttle was built for speed, maneuverability, invisibility, not comfort. "T7," Lana called out, "change of plans."

A beep in binary, simple query, came in answer.

Lana took one second to feel the exhaustion in her every bone, feel the bruises from the last skirmish; an Eternal Throne security force had tried to stop her from docking. She had to sell the shuttle, or scuttle its ident, at least, which was another argument in favour of meeting Theron in person. There was too much at stake for Lana to do things for only one reason.

Another binary beep, a little louder. Lana went to sit in the co-pilot's chair. "Do you think you can take another agent to Sullust?" Lana asked T7. "I have a last-minute rendezvous."

A longer binary string, which Lana's translator told her meant the droid was worried about her safety, especially without back-up. 

"I can manage," Lana said. "Hutt space," she added. Never the full details, but enough to put T7 aware of the risk assessment. Hutt space: the usual gangsters, thieves, security. Nar Shaddaa didn't really change. It was always the party palace above the galaxy's cesspool. Neutral territory to the Sith Empire and the Republic.

T7 sounded more alarmed, but expertly re-calculated their hyperspace vector to Hutt space, directly to Nar, without being told anything further. Lana used to believe in the requirement to ensure regular maintenance on droids. Memory, personality, personhood-- it all negatively impacted function. In droids and people, really. But T7 was more capable the more it knew. So their deal stood: autonomy, memory intact. Every independent decision the little droid made meant Lana thanked her luck.

-

They docked on Nar without any trouble, though that luck wouldn't hold. It never did, not on Nar -- even before this latest war. T7 took responsibility for changing the shuttle ident, instructed her to set up a meeting, and confirmed it would escort her agent back to Zakuul on a civilian transport. Easy.

"Koth will meet you," Lana said. "Or one of his crew. Contact me once you've landed."

T7 beeped an affirmative, then trundled away, guaranteeing Lana a clean shuttle before she woke up. By then T7 and her operative would already be enroute to Zakuul. Everyone moving, all of the time. It was exhausting. Lana took the droid's hint and booked a berth, and collapsed for twelve hours of uninterrupted rest. A ridiculous luxury, but her bruised ribs felt cracked, and so, rest.

Theron, when Lana woke up, had confirmed the rendezvous. She sent him the docking information for her brand-new-to-the-authorities shuttle pad, and slipped away to meet him.

When Lana approached the shuttle, she saw he'd beaten her there and was leaning casually against an inert cargo hauler. "You're late," he said, without malice. "I figured trying to break into the shuttle for cover would be more suspicious than just waiting. No idea what kinds of security you might have put on your transport, but figured they'd be loud."

"I'm not late," Lana said tartly. "I'm..." She looked at her chrono; she was two minutes behind schedule. "Come on," she muttered, and lead Theron into the shuttle.

He followed her, looking around at the inside as the door locked behind them. "Cozy," he said.

It was a former Sith Empire diplomatic shuttle, retrofitted with engines from the Eternal Empire. The larger engines and venting system had required extensive retrofitting, which had meant losing most of the cabin and berth area. Lana had sacrificed the space without question. The remaining crew space was meagre: two bunks bolted to one corner of the large cockpit, a bench on the other side. Theron collapsed on the bench, so Lana perched on the lower bunk across from him.

"I wouldn't have thought you'd take this mission," Theron started with. "It's just a check in, after all."

Lana frowned to hear Theron say what he did was 'just' anything. This was worse than she thought. She had to tread carefully, though, because the last thing Theron would welcome was coddling, or pity. "Everyone needs some down time," Lana tried.

From his scowl, Theron didn't buy it. He confirmed that when he said, "Uh huh. So you just happened to do a one-eighty from wherever you were to check on me? I know you weren't the original contact assigned to pick up my information."

All right. New tactic. Lana crossed her arms, waited to make sure Theron was finished. "Should I be checking on you?" she asked calmly. "I know you quite well, Theron," she continued. "I could tell something is wrong. And I know you won't tell anyone else, so here I am."

He spread his arms wide. "Everything is wrong, Lana," he replied. "What do you want first?"

Lana considered carefully. She needed to root out the problem, not unravel him further, and because of his mental shields she couldn't cheat to find an opening on what to say. Instead, she changed tack again. "Do you have the data?"

Theron handed the disk over. "Much good it'll do," he muttered. "We're no closer to saving--"  
He cut himself off, swallowing.

Ah.

Theron didn't think they could get to the prison. He thought it was hopeless. Perhaps Lana could rethread this needle, if she found the fraying end.

She didn't miss how reluctant Theron was to even say the Outlander's name. Lana rarely spoke of the matter either; few dared say the name, the reviled 'Outlander' -- Arcann's biggest propaganda victory. And those that remembered, really remembered, had their own reasons for keeping quiet. Theron's reason, at least, Lana knew.

She said, "What will reassure you? That we'll succeed, I mean."

Theron sighed. "The Republic is talking about retaliatory strikes," he admitted. "But that's all they do. Talk. There's a lot of hot air, and a lot of posturing, and in the meantime..."

"Yes," Lana agreed quietly.

Empress Acina had taken to ruling those who opposed Arcann with an iron fist, as well. At least she had the excuse of ruling over an Empire that worshipped order above nearly all other ideals. Order and stability were what naive Imperial recruits used to swear fealty to. Order, stability, and Sith. Harsh tactics, whatever your moral stance, were expected.

Theron was no naive recruit, though; he knew the Republic was fallible. Whatever was going on here was a long time coming.

"I just..." Theron shrugged. "Sorry. It's been a long week. They got two of the other SIS agents who were stationed with me, nothing to do with your data," he explained. "I watched it happen. My orders were to stay put."

"Did you?" Lana asked, startled. That didn't sound like something any version of Theron would do: always too reckless, unwilling to stick to the plan.

Theron looked down, at his boots. "My orders were to stay put. But I tried. There just... weren't enough resources to get them out."

There was the root of it: not enough. Never enough. Lana was stealing Hutt cartel funds, stowing away on tramp freighters, and one of her most reliable agents right now was a maintenance droid. But she and Theron had taken on an entire planetary piracy and won, with nothing but some protocol droids and a couple of slicers.

"I'll get you what you need, Theron," Lana said. "But you have to tell me what that is. I can--"

She paused, then decided nothing could make this worse. "I know you're close to quitting. No one can afford that, right now. That's why I'm here, not one of my operatives."

That's why I came, Lana thought.

"I need information," Theron said, eventually. "I need to know that -- that what I'm doing, that everything I'm doing is fixing _something_. The SIS, they took me out of the big picture, and now it's all just pointless."

The former Minister of Intelligence in Lana wanted to take umbrage at his demand. The former fugitive in Lana couldn't ignore the thread of desperation in his voice, the thread of desperation in his everything. Theron was disillusioned, and didn't know what he was fighting for, or against. Lana had made her choice: fight the Eternal Throne with everything she had. Her conviction was solid. There was room for nothing else.

She told him, "Then I need you to take a larger role against the Eternal Throne."

"What?" Theron leaned forward, scowling. "You're haggling when all I want is to be kept in the loop?"

Her patience snapped.

"I'm needed everywhere at once, Theron!" Lana almost-yelled. "I'm trying to run a depleted intelligence network, I'm trying to organize a counter-revolution, I'm trying to find where they're holding the most notorious criminal in the Eternal Empire and stage a prison break, and I'm doing all of this while fighting Knights and the Republic and the Sith every step of the way!"

She snapped her mouth closed, already feeling abashed over the outburst. Her anger kept her going, her loyalty kept her determination from wavering. She _would_ find the Outlander's prison. She _would_ make sure this tyrant fell.

Theron watched her. "Feel better?"

"Not really," Lana admitted. "And you're dodging the point."

"What do you need me to do?" he asked.

"Be _present_ ," she snapped. "I have no resources in the Republic, and I understand what you've lost--" When he went to argue, Lana held up her hand, losing patience again. "Please, I know what you've lost. But we've all lost something, and I can't be the only one standing. I can't."

Theron's face softened. "What do you really need?"

Before she could stop herself, Lana snapped, "A partner."

There, it was out. Lana could have slapped herself, but as it stood, she'd admitted it. Contain fall-out, move forward. Strategize her pieces. She could turn this around. Lana started to say, "I have an ever-widening number of agents, but few people with the experience to manage their operations--"

"Do you ever miss Rishi?" Theron interrupted, as if she'd said nothing at all. He looked calmer, now, contemplative.

Lana blinked. "Not even a little."

"Not even the beaches?" Lana waited, eyeing the SIS agent. Theron leaned back, let his head fall onto the bulkhead. "I liked the beaches," he murmured. "I should have taken the fucking retirement package SIS offered, bought a shack on the beach."

"You'd have been bored within the month," Lana replied, amused despite herself. This version of Theron was more familiar. Infuriating, but familiar.

"I would have," Theron agreed, eyes still closed. "But I would have been out of the SIS."

"So quit," Lana couldn't help but say. Another thing she wanted to take back almost as soon as she'd said it, but... Lana stayed quiet.

Theron opened his eyes, body still slumped, to watch her. "That would help, wouldn't it?" he asked. "You, I mean, what you're planning, if I got out from SIS's thumb. Sure. I'll send the message tonight." He huffed, darkly amused. "The SIS might even be grateful to get rid of me."

Lana licked her lips, watching Theron right back. He was serious: he'd quit because Lana told him to. Maybe he'd quit because he already wanted to quit, and was grateful Lana gave him a good reason. They'd trusted each other, once upon a time, against impossible odds; more than that, Theron had _seen_ her, and Lana had watched him fall in love despite all rationality, fight against his heart to love a dark side user. Theron had watched her learn some hard lessons, too.

She laid herself bare. "I have no one with any contacts in the Republic," Lana said. "I don't have anyone else with a decent intelligence network to even ask. I'm barely holding together a handful of agents, each with their own agenda, on Zakuul." She opened her arms out, palms up, this is all she had. "Half the time," she said, "I have to accept that I will never know their agendas. Work around it."

But that wasn't the real reason Lana wanted Theron on her side. Quieter, she said, "I know yours."

"Do you," Theron said. It wasn't a question.

"You may be," Lana told him, "the only one as motivated to get to that prison as I am. Perhaps the reason is different, but I know you. I _need_ you focused. I can't do this--"

Lana cut herself off. She could do this without Theron. She could do this if Theron broke down, if he quit the fight. She didn't want to, though. "I do miss Rishi, once and a while," Lana admitted. Briskly, she said, "So get it together."

Theron nodded, slowly. "Only if you promise me you'll show me how I'm helping get to the Outlander. I need something to hold onto. This is going to take time. And I'm not stupid. You're going to need me in the shadows, for even longer than that. I know I can't be on the front lines in this fight, not even if you can get to--"

He cut himself off yet again, looked away. Good -- Theron knew the stakes, and knew that guerilla warfare against Arcann required him to stay in place, no matter where his heart landed. No matter where the Outlander was. And, Theron accepted it. Lana exhaled in relief: this was why he couldn't stomach SIS. They wouldn't keep him tied to the front, wouldn't show him evidence of cause and effect.

She could give him that much. Show Theron that his separation from the Outlander, that his sacrifice, was worth it.

"I'll give you everything I can," Lana replied. It wasn't even a lie, she didn't think. Theron respected op-sec, and his mental shields had withstood Revan's probing; he was no security risk, not against a Knight. He could keep her secrets. Their secrets, now.

After this, there'd be reports to pull together. Intelligence to compare. With Theron out of SIS, they'd lose the Service's resources but gain mobility, a good trade-off. They could integrate their intelligence, their operatives, their resources. Lana said as much, and watched Theron's reaction.

A flicker of hope on his face. Good.

Theron stood up, took a breath, and Lana watched him pack it all away. There. His frayed end, threaded once more. He'd found his motivation again: get the Outlander. He'd keep that close to his heart, whatever he did, however far apart they were: protect the Outlander. Lana had shored up his foundation. Whether Theron's determination was to protect the galaxy, or just the person, Lana didn't care. Theron was back with her, someone she could rely on. One of the precious few.

Theron said, "Then let's get to work."


End file.
